She laughed and she said “sorry you can’t work out.” Working out is one thing. I can barely walk to the kitchen without feeling light headed and nauseous. I’ve mustered less than 500 steps combined all week. Even trying to read a book has proven to be too much energy. So I just sit on the couch and watch The […]

Today feels like a twisted joke. Like everything that has taken an emotional toll on me this year rolled itself up and then smacked me with physical pain. Maybe I spoke too soon. Here I was bragging about my incredible immune system- which really up until this point it has been a fantastic immune system. Now here I am sicky […]

Good morning. Jet lag has officially ruined any form of regular sleep schedule I once held onto. In the past 24 hours I have had no more than five hours of sleep, and the lines between extreme exhaustion and sadness about being alone again are vastly blurred. So I’m giving myself permission to figure that out. Right now. At 6 […]

She had suggested going somewhere for dinner. I suggested ordering takeout and eating at my house. I knew we were going to cry. No way was I going to ugly cry in public. And sure enough we cried for hours. I stood up ready to hug her. That’s what always happens. When there aren’t words to say anymore, we get […]

“Looking at the resv now. Both sfo & lax don’t look good anymore.” That’s all it took before I started crying. I’m supposed to catch a red eye flight to California. I’m supposed to land early in the morning and get to Disneyland before the park opens. I’m supposed to rope drop and get brunch at Lamplight Lounge and take […]