Lynnie thinks it’s strange and creepy, but sometimes I’ll look through old photos and remember the moment when the camera clicked and I said ‘cheese.’ It’s weird, but I love it. I love looking back at old pictures and thinking about how time has just flown by since that short minute. So as the year is ending and I look back at last year’s photo of fireworks shooting off behind the Bay Bridge, I can’t help but remember when..
Remember when we were just kids and had our whole lives ahead of us. Now we’re ‘adults’ and our lives are right smack in front of us. Remember when we claimed to be studying for AP Gov but were really just taking in the vitamin D on the Patino’s back porch. Now 4/5ths of us are graduating college. Remember when Point Loma Nazarene University sent me that giant card and as soon as I opened it, it shouted at me “Congratulations you’ve been accepted to PLNU!” Now they’re sending me graduation fees, and I can’t believe four years has passed. Remember when I dreamed about traveling to Europe and studying abroad. Now I have passport stamps from all over Europe. Remember when I wanted to experience what it was like to serve internationally in third world countries. Now I have a piece of my heart that belongs to Africa. Remember when Hawaii sounded like a cool idea. Now Hawaii sounds like home. Remember when everyone thought the world would end in 2012. Now it’s 2016.
Each year I see my dreams become realities and my goals become achievements. Life rushes on by without any warning. So it’s these moments of looking back at old photos that make me stop and appreciate all that I’ve accomplished. All the amazing- and sometimes not so amazing- events I’ve been apart of, things I’ve been able to see, people I’ve been able to meet, lessons I’ve learned… Old photos are old memories, and old memories are reminders of how I’ve become this person I’m immensely proud of.
2015 in one phrase has been a messy balance. It was a year of confusion and doubt, fear and anxiety, uncertainty and stagnation. But it has also been a year of confidence and hope, feeling at home, and feeling just right. It’s been a teeter-totter year going back and forth between I’m not ready but then again I couldn’t be more ready. A year that started and continued to solidify my call to ministry while also leaving me with fear of the future. So as the year wraps up, I’m left with uncertain confidence.
My hope for 2016- as with all the years to come- is that I leave it all up to God. God, you have full control of my future- where I live and what I do. So that when the time comes for me to write about how 2016 went I’ll remember when I didn’t know. Remember when I was afraid of graduating and entering the real world… Remember when I didn’t know whether I wanted to go to grad school or move to Hawaii… Oh the places I’ll go, the things I’ll see, the people I’ll meet, and the lessons I’ll learn…