I had to have been maybe 10? How old is a sixth grader? Are they ten? However old I was, I remember I was at the height of my elementary school career, so 6th grade. (My elementary school went to 6th grade) That’s why it stung even more. Because I had spent years building up to this point. Maybe not years, but to 6th grade Meg it felt like years. I had liked Vincent Velasco from post Christopher Alvarez moving in the 4th grade to second year Ms. Greene in the 6th grade. And like I do with anyone I care for and adore, I had smothered him with all the love I had to offer. I had been his friend, did whatever he needed, and practically worshipped the ground he walked on until one day when I followed him down the hall and he turned around and said, “Meg I don’t like you like that!” And what a fool I felt like.
And from that point, I told myself I’d never let myself be made a fool again.
I did everything I could to protect myself from being in a position of embarrassment. Dance in front of a group of people? No thank you. Do silly stunts afterschool at a friend’s house? I’ll be over here watching on the side. If I knew that it would make me look silly, I automatically associated it with making me feel stupid. And I don’t quite like the feeling of being stupid.
But now I am 26 years old, and I am currently trying to crawl my way out of my comfort box in order to be more obedient to God’s call. And if you’re following along in my box journey- all two of you that read these; three if you include Jasmine on the days she responds to my text messages- then you’ll know what I’m talking about. And update, I think I’ve crawled out of the box. Now I’m trying to find my footing in this foreign territory called “following God.”
From my crouched position barely outside this box, God has told me “Good job, now let’s keep going.” He’s waiting for me to stand up, but in order to stand up I’m going to have to look like a fool first.
And you know I’m already stomping my feet and rolling my eyes at the thought of it.
Serves me well though. Telling God to prove it two more times before I take a step forward. Because it’s only been a couple hours, and sure enough He’s proved it two times.
In the book of Joshua, you read this classic story of God’s faithfulness- and absolute incredible power to blow your mind- as you learn about the walls of Jericho. God told Joshua and Joshua told the people to walk around the city walls once a day for six days and then on the seventh day to walk around the city walls seven times. And after the seventh go around the people were to shout and the walls would come crumbling down allowing them to just waltz right in. Who does these things?! Oh right, God does.
I read that story and think “Wow Joshua you are crazy.” Because from an outsider’s perspective, they all look stupid. How could walking around a wall do anything? Shouldn’t we be breaking the wall? Climbing the wall? Even just punching the wall could do more damage than walking around it. But God didn’t say to do any of that. He commanded them to do something that sounds so utterly absurd. And yet, as faithful as ever, He gave them what He promised. The walls plopped straight to the ground, and the people who had been looking like clowns the seven days before walked straight into Jericho and took seize of everything.
And maybe that’s what He’s trying to tell me also?
Meg do the thing that everyone will think you’re crazy for doing. Especially Jasmine, she has already rolled her eyes at you many times. You are going to feel stupid. You are going to feel like you are wasting your time. But suck up your pride and follow me. Listen to what I’m telling you, because what I’m asking you to do will lead you to what I have planned for you. It might seem absurd now. You might feel like a fool now. But when the walls come crashing down and you’re able to just walk right into your promise, how amazing will you feel then. So, do it. Go on.
Well here goes nothing.
I’m looking forward to seeing what God has for me behind those walls.