I remember the first time I rode Space Mountain. I was a huge Disneyland fan but absolutely terrified of rollercoasters. But when my cousins decided they wanted to go to Disneyland too, I was too embarrassed to admit I was afraid, so I went along for the ride- literally. As we made our way down the line and inched closer and closer to the boarding station, my heart raced faster and faster. I hopped into the car, pulled my lap bar down, and felt like I wanted to puke. I remember I closed my eyes the whole ride. I gripped the handles so tight that my fingernails probably made a mark. I used to be afraid.
This time around I paid to skip the line and get on the ride faster. I was giddy walking through the building and seeing everyone load up into their seats. I screamed with excitement the whole way through and waved my hands around as the ride whipped me back and forth and faster than light.
It’s crazy to think that I used to be afraid of something that I love so much now.
It makes me wonder what else will change one day.
Because right now I’m afraid of sleeping on my own, but maybe one day I won’t wake up in the middle of the night worried. Right now, I have trouble doing things on my own because I’m so used to being with someone else, but maybe one day I’ll be ok doing things at home all alone. Right now, I keep checking my phone to see who messaged me, but maybe one day I won’t be so attached. Right now I keep wondering and wanting to know what’s going on, but maybe one day I won’t care to keep up.
I wish I could jump from right now to the one day, but I don’t think I started getting excited for Space Mountain until a few years and many more rides later. It took some getting used to- that’s for sure. So maybe right now, it’s just going to take some getting used to. Then in a few years and many more nights later, maybe I won’t be afraid anymore.