I’m currently 30 minutes into episode 8 of Boys Over Flowers, and even though I hit pause to write, all I want to do is finish the episode. I need to know how this is going to end. I love endings! I hate beginnings, and I hate middles even more. I hate going through a process, because all I want is the end result. So, because I need to know- and because I can’t stay up all night long binge watching this Korean drama- I do what I always do thanks to my favorite Netflix feature… I scroll my cursor over the time bar line thing and look through the stills to see what’s going to happen in the episode.
He plays hockey, he gets into some sort of accident, she goes running to the hospital, there’s a flashback- probably emphasizing how she truly does love him, I think she’s crying at the hospital, the other boys are there, wait he’s not actually hurt, there’s laughing going on, I’m confused, oh are they on a date now, hold up why is Ji Hoo ok with all this, now they’re at her house talking to her parents, what is going on…
I rushed the process because I needed to know the ending, but now I’m even more confused than before. I do this all the time with tv shows, movies, and books especially. I skip to the end to know how things are going to turn out, and then I flip back to where I was and continue along keeping the outcome in the back of my mind.
I do this with God all the time too…
I hate waiting, but almost always, God puts me in a situation where I have to wait it out. And I beg and beg and beg for God to hurry it on up. I pray for instant gratification and for all my deepest desires to be met right here and right now. And sometimes if I’m lucky, God gives me a piece of the puzzle. Not a good piece like a corner piece or an edge piece, but a piece important enough that I can see just a little bit of what I think the picture is. And here’s where I go wrong. Because once I think I can see even a glimpse, I run full force fast forwarding my way through the process. I think that I know and that with just the small piece that God has given me that I can figure the rest out.
And you would have thought that I would have learned by now… But God doesn’t work like that. He’s not giving me a piece so that I can move forward and do the rest on my own. He gives me a piece here and a piece there and then little by little I can start putting things together.
Every evening I go on a walk around my neighborhood, and this evening was no different. I walk two miles- up the hill and back down. Sometimes I listen to music, but most often I’m either on House Party with my cousins or on the phone with Jasmine. And in doing so, I give very little attention to the world around me.
And this evening I probably should have paid more attention. Because if I had paid attention I would have noticed the rain clouds rolling in. I would have noticed how gray the sky was getting and how gloomy it looked. But I didn’t. So, I walked all the way up the hill, turned around at the stop light, said hello to Uncle Herb, and then I started paying attention.
Because all of a sudden little raindrops started falling. At first it was nice, because it was the subtle, small rain that cools you off when it’s hot out. I didn’t mind this much. Then as I crossed the street and turned down my road, the rain picked up. And if you know anything about Kaneohe, you know that when it rains, it rains hard. So, before you know it, I’m running- and I don’t frequent run- down my street to get to my house. I’m running, my cousins are still on House Party, and the rain is coming down. I run up to my front door thinking that I’ve just escaped the worst of it, and right as I take my key out to unlock the door, rain starts dumping out of the sky. As if God was holding a Heaven sized bucket and decided to fully tip it over above my house.
Then I hear God whisper, “I’ll get you there when you need to be.”
The rainy mist was one thing. I could handle the rainy mist. I knew it wasn’t going to be that bad and that I could manage. The faster raindrops had me a little more concerned. I was running. I- Meg- was running. Then the bucket drops of rain came. Had I still been walking the neighborhood, I would have been drenched within seconds. But at just the perfect time, I had made it home.
God will get me there when I need to be. He will answer those prayers in His time, not in my own. Because my own time is fast and rushed and complicated as a result of being fast and rushed, but God’s time is perfect. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. He knows that the process will be worth the wait. Because little by little, piece by piece, the process is what is making me stronger. It’s what’s stretching my faith, deepening my love for Christ, and pushing me to hope in ways that I have never had to hope before. So, I don’t have to have the puzzle figured out right now. I have a good feeling that God already solved that one for me.