Deciding to attend school in San Diego opened the doors to an exciting new encounter, but it also came at the sacrifice of leaving the life I knew behind. I said goodbye to family and friends, and the excitement of a new hello pushed all my sadness away. I don’t think I’ve ever dwelled upon what I left behind until now.
For the past three weeks I’ve sat at home doing absolutely nothing. I’ve spent time visiting family members and catching up with old friends. Somehow the stars aligned and I was home just in time to catch two weekends of toddler birthdays and two weekends of graduation festivities. Each weekend I was surrounded by family.
As we spent time together my heart broke a little knowing that this is what I left behind- these are memories that I won’t have. Birthdays, weddings, Sunday lunches all missed because I decided to go to school in San Diego. Watching as little ones grow into big ones and hearing what grades they’re in now. Thinking about how Jada would know my name if only she saw me more. I’ve become that aunt who you only see a few times of the year, and all they say is “Wow you’ve grown so much since the last time I saw you”.
I never realized what I sacrificed until I stepped back into what I once had. I wouldn’t trade my experience at Point Loma for the world, but I wish there were more time in a year. More time for me to be here and there and not miss out on those important moments. There will never be a way for me to have both, but at this moment I’m enjoying what I can have.