Seriously, I’ve grown to hate writing. What was once a beloved hobby of mine has become like a homework assignment. I remember starting my blog in Barcelona and spending an hour before bed writing, reflecting on my day. I enjoyed it. Fast forward a couple years and I’m constantly behind on my daily blogging. I think I’ve turned blogging into a chore rather than a hobby. It’s something I do because I feel like I need to do not because I want to do it resulting in my laziness and hatred of writing.
Take now for example. I’m a month behind on my blog, which means for a whole month I didn’t write daily. It’s not like I forgot to write or was busy every second of the day that I couldn’t jot a few words down, but it’s because I didn’t want to. At first I convinced myself that it would be ok to be behind a few days. Then a few days turned into a few weeks, and before you know it a whole month. Now that I have a whole month to write about I’ve become even lazier. The thought of sitting down for hours thinking about what I did that day makes me not want to do it.
Besides not wanting to write, I haven’t been enjoying what I’m writing about. Not only is daily blogging an unreasonable task for me but I don’t think something life changing and incredible is happening in my life everyday. I think it takes a season of life for it to quality as monumental in forming my being. I don’t think one day alone can change my entire worldview. There are moments in my day that are worth sharing to the world- like a beautifully painted sunset or deep conversation- and those moments deserve their spotlight. So when a moment like that happens I should write about it, but otherwise should I continue daily blogging.
When I started this blog I had no expectation of what it would become, and honestly I still don’t. I don’t expect to become famous or to have a million hits a day. Up until this point I’ve written so that the few people in my life- aka mom and dad- who care enough can stay updated with what I’m doing. But now I’ve realized that this blog has to become something more. I don’t want it to just be about myself and my life and the things I’m doing, but I want it to be about Christ. I want it to be about Christ working in my life and the things Christ is doing with me and for me. I’m not quite sure how to do that. I’m not sure if writing less will help me write more, but I know something needs to change. I have very few hobbies and even fewer things people tell me I’m good at, so writing is a skill I want to maintain. God help and motivate me. Allow me to do this for the glory of your name.