Have you ever had days that aren’t necessarily part of your routine, but somehow play out to be the quite similar? Sort of like a birthday how it happens once every year, and when it comes it brings the same feelings of excitement and celebration but on a whole new day. Well that’s how today should have been. This morning mimicked what it would have been like to finish my internship and return to Loma. It was almost the same, but it wasn’t.
Pastor Joy and I kept up our unplanned tradition alive by having breakfast at Cinnamon’s. To our surprise there was no wait and we were immediately seated (praise Jesus). We had our usual crab cake benedict- mine with eggs and pastor Joy’s without. Then she dropped me off to the airport three hours before my departure, and with excitement we said our goodbyes.
Now typically I would be in tears before we even got to the airport. Typically I would be in tears as we drove through the H3 and I glanced back at Kaneohe before entering the tunnels. But I wasn’t. For the first time I was excited to go to the airport and be stuck in long lines. What would normally be a frustrating hour and a half of trying to check in turned out to be a morning with no crowds, no lines, and it only took me 30 minutes to get from airport curbside to sitting at my gate. I wasn’t in tears. I wasn’t flustered and sweaty rushing to my gate. Instead, for the first time ever, I was excited to fly back to California.
I wasn’t sad, because I knew that in two weeks I would be back in Hawaii. My heart didn’t break into pieces, because it was no longer a game of ‘who knows when I’ll be back’. I have a home in Hawaii now. My life is in Hawaii now.
Getting adjusted to this new season of life has not been easy to say the least. It has been a rollercoaster of longing for something I know I can’t have and being confident in where God is taking me. For so long Hawaii had felt like home to me, and when it finally was home I felt trapped. So I prayed that God with give me strength, and I knew that with time Hawaii would feel like home again.
Today as the airplane lifted off, I looked down at the rock in the middle of the ocean and took pride in knowing that it’s my rock and I get to come back in two weeks. I left a little piece of me in Kaneohe, and I can’t wait to get back to it to see how much larger it will grow.