I’m not one to judge, but I don’t think Taylor Swift got it right when she wrote her song 22. She really worked up being twenty two, and she made it seem like a whole lot more fun than it really is. Not that it wasn’t fun, but maybe my twenty two had a lot less dancing around than Taylor Swift’s did.
In a nutshell, my twenty two was all about becoming an adult… At twenty two I was a couple months deep into my first full-time job and a couple months away from quitting my first full-time job… At around twenty two and a quarter, I started a new job- a job that I love waking up for every morning. Also around twenty two and a quarter I bought my first car and added another loan to the list. Five months into twenty two and I added a masters program to my already busy schedule. At twenty two and a half I picked up a group of interns from the airport not realizing how much fun and chaos their presence would bring into my life. Towards the end of twenty two my whirlwind of a life came to a crash, and as a now unofficial member of the adult club, I had to put the pieces back together again.
Now I’m in my last couple hours as a twenty two year old and I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t go back and try to make it easier or simpler. I wouldn’t go back and tell myself to watch out for what’s ahead. I became an adult because I crashed and burned yet still, somehow, I found the strength to stand back up again.
Don’t get me wrong, twenty two still had it’s handfuls of calling my mom and dad and asking them how to file my taxes or complete the registration on my car- there was even a phone call filled with tears and heartbreak begging my mom to get me off this island- but man did I learn so much about what I’m capable of this past year…
I work with preschoolers, and they know a thing or two about falling down. But every time they fall down they get back up again. Sometimes they get up and come to me crying wanting hugs. Sometimes they aren’t crying and they just want a band aid or an ice pack to relieve the pain. And sometimes they don’t come to me at all… They just go back about their lives and play with their friends knowing that everything is going to be ok.
Like I said, I fell down a lot during twenty two. I fell down in my career when I was in a job I thought I would love. I fell down in my friendships and was the loneliest I had ever been in my life. I fell down in the church and became so burnt out from doing ministry. But I’m about to be twenty three and I can say with so much joy in my heart that I got back up again.
Sometimes I fell down and ran to God crying. I asked him why and how and what for. I deeply wondered if there was purpose in this pain, and I searched and searched for an answer. So God gave me prayer, and He gave me scripture. He reminded me that He hears my every cry, and that His word is a tangible piece of advice in the midst of my confusion.
“Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.” Psalm 130: 1-2
Sometimes I fell down and asked God to just relieve the pain. I knew that it was going to hurt and I knew it was inevitable, so I told God flat out, “Give me peace.” Then in ways that I would have never imagined, God’s spirit filled me with a calmness that could silence any storm. He filled me with peace and assured me that so long as I abide in Him, He will be in me.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” John 15:4
And sometimes I didn’t go to God at all, because I knew that everything was going to be ok. I serve a good God- a God that will never fail me nor abandon me. A God who sees all of the things that I can’t see and knows there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. So even when I fall, even when life seems to be crashing down above me, God is still there- loving me more than I can ever deserve.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come to pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
Taylor Swift had one thing right though! She sings, “Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you.” Sure she was probably talking about a boy, but since I have no boys in my life I’m going to imagine she’s talking about her friends. My friends and family made everything alright. The absolute best moments of this past year were the moments where I got to spend quality time with the ones who hold and mend my heart.
Twenty two was kicked off with a beautiful dinner by the ocean with my Hawaiian parents and siblings. At twenty two and a quarter I got to stand on stage with my best friend as she said her I do’s. Also around twenty two and a quarter I spent two weeks having sleepovers with all my cousins near the fireplace and across the Christmas tree. Four months into twenty two I celebrated with Lynn as I received a copy of my first ever published piece of writing in a college women’s ministry devotional. At twenty two and a half I formed new friendships with people who would get me through a rough patch in life. Towards the end of twenty two I clicked reset on my life and spent sometime with the people who love me the most.
I’m hours away from twenty three and I know without a doubt that my birthday is going to be a reminder of how much I am loved. I am going to get texts from my friends and phone calls from my parents. I am going to get sweet greetings and warm hugs. I am going into my twenty third year of life with a type of love that I hope sticks with me through all the years that I’m on this planet.