I don’t think I was listening today. Not very well anyways. I was so occupied with the things around me, the people around me, that for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel under pressure.
You see, Mel called it an instant pot. Me, I was the instant pot. All summer I was set to pressure cook mode and the pressure kept getting tighter and tighter. It was a building up of tenseness and pain and doubt. Always building up but never releasing.
Yet today (and this whole trip really) was different. Breathing… I could breathe.
We went to Shibuya first. Saw the Hachi statue and crossed the busiest crosswalk. Aimlessly walked around until we stumbled on all the right things. I went to the Disney store and bought things that maybe I didn’t need but still bring me joy anyways.
Then we went to Harajuku. It was unlike the rest of Japan that I’ve experienced so far. It was pink and colorful and wild and crazy. What a contrast from anything else I’ve seen. We ate at Bills for lunch and man was that fun. Yummy and yuppy, fun and fancy, delicious and delightful.
I loved today. I loved getting to breathe again.
I’m on the right track. Almost to the point of completely releasing steam. Slowly and surely, it’s getting easier. Getting more comfortable. Slowly but surely, I’m believing in God’s goodness again. Removing the lies. Speaking the truth. Resting assured in His love, grace and peace until finally, I can breathe again.