Will you trust me for the next block?
There’s this one beach access that I always walk down to get to my favorite beach. It’s my beach access to my beach- my happy place. I park my car on the same street every time, and I walk through the same beach access every time. It’s a familiar place, my preferred place, that leads me to a place of peace every time I’m there.
But with the stay at home order and parking restrictions, I can’t park on the same street I always do. I can’t walk the few steps down to the beach access I normally go through. So instead I park quite a ways away, and I walk. Lately I’ve just been walking the bare minimum. Going as far as I can until I hit the first beach access point and then turn to get to my destination as fast as I can. It’s the easy route- less work but equally great reward.
But the other day I felt a nudge to keep walking. To go a little farther, to spend a little more time, to push through the sweat and the sore feet, in order to get back to my familiar place. So, I did, because I know that my beach access always leads me to my favorite part of the beach. That when I go down that entrance I’ll end up with a fantastic view of beautiful waves and clear skies.
So, there I was. Holding my blanket, my backpack on my back, and a giant floatie hooked on my arm. I probably looked silly. At one point I definitely wanted to turn into the next beach access and just get to the beach already. I was probably only a block away too. But I kept being called to the place where I knew I wanted to be.
It was that defining moment where I had to decide what to do. Stop now, go my own way, and settle for what’s right in front of me. Or keep going, push through, and trust that what was to come would exceed any of my expectations.
I look back at my life and wonder how many times I stopped short of my final destination. How many times I went my own way and settled for what I thought was best rather than keep going, pushing through, and trusting that what God has to come would be amazing. I think I’ve done it quite a bit.
Too often I’ve gotten in the way of where God wants me to be. I’m my own roadblock. And most times it’s because I can’t wait, I can’t endure another second, I can’t keep wondering when it will all make sense. Worst of all, I believe in my head that I can do it fine all by myself anyways. And every time I go off on my own, I end up losing anyways.
So this time, God wants me to trust Him for the next block.
Rather than throw in the towel too soon and take the easy way out, God wants me to keep going. He doesn’t want me to settle for what I can see, because He wants to take me to a place I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams. It would be easy to stop following now. To say, “Ok God, you’ve taken me far enough but I think I’ll just stop right here.” It would be a whole lot less painful and there would be a whole lot less tears if I just stopped right here. But the growing and the stretching has never come easy. It has always been a process of surrender and heartbreak and confusion. It’s not fun, and I think that’s why I’ve always wanted to stop short- to end the pain because I just couldn’t bare it anymore.
But this time around, I feel God rooting for me to get to the end. He knows what it’s going to be, and He knows it’s going to be amazing. He has all the details planned, and it’s going to be a beautiful display. But He also knows He can’t tell me. Because if God were to tell me what the end result was, I wouldn’t trust in Him. I wouldn’t put my faith in Him, but rather I’d try to manipulate it into my on way.
So I’m trusting Him for the next block. Knowing that it won’t be easy. Knowing that there will be lots of tears from now until then. But also knowing that in the end, it will be all mine.