I don’t think I heard anything.
It’s not for lack of trying. I listened to worship music on my way to work. I paid attention to any signs or words of wisdom throughout my day. During my evening walk I put my AirPods away and just walked in silence.
But still, nothing.
So instead of writing, I turned to my Bible. I read 2nd Thessalonians, and I dove deeper into that word. Because I didn’t have anything to write about, I could skip that part of my routine and get straight to my Bible reading.
Even when it feels like God is doing nothing, it’s still important to choose Him first.
That is the lesson I’m learning. That’s the lesson I’m getting better at. Truly, I should receive a most improved award for how well I’m doing. Because before, when I felt like God was doing nothing, I put Him at the very bottom of my list. I tucked Him away, shoved Him in the closet, and just let myself forget that He was even there.
But not now. Not again.
I know better, but really it’s because I refuse to feel that pain again. I still get upset and confused and angry. I still feel like yelling at God and getting mad. But now I know that won’t work. Now I know the battle isn’t worth the energy, because I’ll always lose in the end.
So I’m getting better at choosing God first- even when I feel like God is doing nothing. It’s becoming more of a natural first response rather than a last resort consequence.
And it’s making life so much easier.
Rather than fight and argue with God, I surrender and agree to go along for the ride. And God has not let me down. He’s showing me that incredible things are happening in my life if I just look around. Same goes for the things that are happening to my mind, body, and soul. Incredible things are happening if I just open myself up to God’s transformation.
And it didn’t require much. I just had to choose God first.