“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.”
Hebrews 4:15-16
Earlier in my devotional reading there was the scripture about Jesus being in the wilderness and being tempted by the devil. He was so strong. He stuck to what he knows about God.
If that were me, I’d be done for. I’d have tried to toughen it out the first few days, but ultimately, I would have caved. I would have fallen for the enemy’s traps and slid right into his plan. Maybe not even fallen. I probably would have walked right into where the devil wanted me.
Because sometimes the enemy tricks us by giving us what we want when we want it knowing that we won’t wait for God even if God has something better.
And often times that’s where my faith falters.
I know what I want and I know- at least I think I know- how to get what I want, so I just do it. I plow my way forward and snatch it. When really God just wants me to trust Him. When really he just wants me to be still and know that He’s God. He’s got it all figured out, and He wants the absolute best for me.
But on most occasions, I am as impatient as my preschoolers during a cooking activity. They want to touch everything and do every step before I even tell them what the step is. They want it now and they won’t wait- even if they don’t know what they’re doing. They’re so excited about the possibility of what’s to come that they just jump over the process.
And that’s me. I want to jump over the process.
This year the process has been absolutely crushing. It has been hard. It has been painful. It has been crying my eyes out, questioning my worth, and grieving what I don’t have anymore. The process has brought me to my weakest of weak.
But I follow Jesus. Who is able to sympathize with my weakness. Who was tempted in every way and is without sin.
So I know that I’ll fail. I know that I’ll fail almost immediately. But I know that Jesus won’t. And he’ll be with me through the process. So even when I want to give in. Even when I do give in… Jesus is right beside me to show me what to do and pick me up again when I do it wrong.