For the past two months- maybe even longer- I’ve used “plant” as my starting Wordle word. It’s not the best starting word. I could definitely pick something more efficient. More times than not I get no useful letters from it. But I’ve stuck with it. I’ve stayed faithful to plant.
Then this morning I woke up, flipped through some text messages, and scrolled over to do the daily Wordle. I selected the letters to plant, and one by one each letter flashed green.
Today’s Wordle was plant!!!!
You see, when I believe in something, I stick with it. (I am also a creature of routine, so I am not bothered by the redundancy of it.) But for months I kept using plant over and over and over again even though “cream” proved to be much more useful. No matter how many days in a row plant would flash black letter after black letter, I still kept going the next day.
A part of me knew that one day, plant would pull through. One day it would be the day’s word, and I didn’t want to miss that one day. I didn’t want to turn my back on plant and then miss out on the day it proved to be successful.
I will stay loyal to the end of time, and this is just a daily word puzzle game.
In life and friendships and decisions, it’s sort of the same and maybe a little bit different.
I’ve stayed with the same job for the past five years, and I have no intention of quitting anytime soon. I’ve written in purple colored pen ink for at least the past two decades, and you’ll have to pry my EnerGel RTX medium needle tip violet ink pen from my hands before I start journaling in black or blue. I always shower before I jump into bed. I rarely eat after 9 PM. And I keep a cup full of water- that I don’t even drink- next to my bed in case one day I do want to drink from it.
These are the things in my life that I’ve stuck with for years and years and years. I love these things and they’ve worked in my life, so I’ve kept doing them.
And even in my friendships, I will love you for all my days.
My closest of close friends know one thing to be true… They are stuck with me. Forever. There is no escaping. I have entered their lives and they have entered my life and we have done life together, so we will continue to do life forever.
But what happens when it’s not up to just me anymore. What happens when things change. Why should I keep being faithful and keep having hope when all things point towards the end of the line?
That’s what I’m struggling with.
That’s why I’ve been asking God how much longer… When will it end… Will it be restored… Do I keep praying… Do I give up now…
Because I think I have enough hope to move a mountain. I think I can keep praying about it and praying about it and praying about it and not stopping. I think that I can stay faithful. But what if it’s not in God’s plan to keep going? How do I know when to stop? When will I know to move on?
So I’m asking God to be very clear, should I stay or do I go?